On that note, it was almost exactly one year ago that I started my cancer treatment journey. I remember this not because I am good with dates, but because every year at the end of April we go to Madras Oregon for the Small Farmers Journal Auction. And last year we took the "big rig" right into downtown Spokane to meet our surgical oncologist for the first time. Of course, we had made the appointment to coincide with our already scheduled trip!
|Imagine negotiating this bad boy down the narrow one way streets of Spokane! Luckily my husband is a professional.|
I have always been a weeper- ask my husband. I cry at Kleenex commercials. But I became increasingly irritated with my inability to talk about anything I was passionate about without bursting into tears. So I began counseling. And luckily my therapist uses EMDR. You should click the link and read about it. Really, I'll wait.
Isn't it fascinating? It is like magic. Even though she explained it, I don't really understand how it works. I just know that it does. And to be clear- I don't have anything I would call severe trauma (even though my therapist told me that comparing traumas is like trying to compare apples and boxer shorts :) ) just things that have happened throughout my life that have left me with feelings of being worthless, unlovable, powerless. She and I go back and revisit these incidents and then process through them with my adult eyes and wisdom. It is incredibly powerful. And freeing. I can't overemphasize that part. At the end of each session, I feel so light and full of joy it is kind of hard to describe.
Anyway, I tell you all of this because yesterday I came up with a pretty big breakthrough. It is really a game changer, if I can keep hold of it. Hang onto your hats, because I am going to share it with you: