Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

Ashley Smith

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Chemo sucks...

There, I said it.  In fact I will say it again. Chemo sucks.  Sucks the life right out of you.

Now, don't think I am ungrateful.  I fully appreciate my blessings at having access to this modern miracle and insurance to pay for it and a body that is capable of (mostly) tolerating it. But at this point in treatment I feel like maybe I should have high-tailed it to that Mexican clinic and tried to cure this cancer with organic vegetable juices and coffee enemas.  It couldn't be as bad as this.

Don't worry, I also appreciate the fact that my tumor is dissolving much like an Alka Seltzer in a glass of water.
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, Oh what a relief it is...

Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but it is what I imagine is happening in there. Anyway, I won't be border-bound any time real soon.

So ultimately the big drawbacks with chemo are:
  1. you lose your hair.  ok, not so much your leg hair, but hair on head? Yes. Bald chemo head, not exactly my best look. and I am oh so challenged with tying on scarves.  The big bonus is no shampoo, conditioner, de tangling, etc. Not entirely a fair trade.
  2. the fatigue... oh my gosh. the fatigue is unbearable. I personally slept all night Monday, all day Tuesday and all night Tuesday. and guess what - I am soooooooo tired right now.
  3. the nausea.  The anti-nausea drugs are great, I haven't barfed at all (sorry if that is too graphic), but I feel perpetually hung over (without the fun of the night before) and no food sounds yummy.
  4. the time suck.  This is one I hadn't really thought about but since we live in the middle of beautiful nowhere, it takes us 3 hours to get to the treatment center. then another 3-4 hours there and then 3 hours home. A BIG DAY. 
Since there are drawbacks there must be some benefits, right?... um besides the obvious one of dissolving the tumor.  Let's see...
  1. weight loss- a direct benefit of all food sounding and smelling gross.
  2. scarves- everyone wants to get you a beautiful scarf- that is definitely fun!
  3. um... at a loss for a number 3.
Anyway, I am happy to be 3/8 of the way through this part and it is making me look forward to the actual surgery (maybe that could be bennie number 3).

Hopefully, I will have something different than cancer and cancer treatment to talk about next time.  Maybe how Magpie jumps off the dock into the river all by herself!!!

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“Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.” -Albert Einstein